I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
