the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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