The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
