the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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