I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
