we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
