Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
