my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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