My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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