I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
As shirtless as possible
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
