No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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