I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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