Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
