i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
