My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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