Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
