I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
