Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
