Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
