he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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