Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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