What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
