i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
