im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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