so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
