shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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