I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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