For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
