overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she smelled like a LAN party
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
