I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
