I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
