dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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