is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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