Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
