The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize