This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
