If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
