Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
