I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
