Who did Billy Mays play for?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I fill condoms, not promises.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
