I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
