Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
