is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
