the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
