The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
