i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You did what with his pubic hair?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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