I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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