dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
