You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
