just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
