That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Randomize
