pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
