Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
