everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
