I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
